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How can I grow?
Ask the right question and work with the answer you get immediately. No sitting on the fence. Be honest with yourself. Your rational mind has got you by the tail. You can endlessly "play-grow" by manipulating the way you think and behave, which is just mental masturbation. You have to measure yourselft against the values of your tradition and guru.
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Find a teacher that will work with you personally. There are many good teachers. Don't be afraid to examine and interact with different Gurus. Having a Guru is more than a blessing, or an escape. It is liberation itself - as decalared by the Tantras.
My Guru, Sri Karunamayi said, "There is never a second wasted in meditation." Even if you only meditate five minutes, and you still feel tense and crappy, just sitting and trying is a powerful achievement. We have no idea how many lifetimes of bad karma and useless illusions and dualistic concepts we can burn away when we look into our own minds in meditation practice. It takes years for meditation to happen for real. Just like it takes time for a child to grow. So you have to look at it like that. It may not even happen for a decade or two - getting the peace that you want and dream of. But eventually on the path, things open up and you suddenly find the darshan you deserve. The very act of sitting down, and turning within, instantly purifies our karma. So don't get frustrated. Don't be goal-oriented, as if you can just sit down and "turn on the meditation channel." Every single second is worth it...especially the hardest times you spend practicing with your restless mind.
Practice is divided into Meditation and View. The perfect blend of sadhanas is a complicated thing, and you need a teacher in order to get it through times of confusion.. How do you know what to meditating on? The path is Meditation and View. But the View should come from an expert. Don't waste time creating your "own" spiritual path.
Make your motto: "I live to serve." That will certainly keep you busy. If you desire to serve make sure it's not just a wish to make the world a safe place for you and your ideas of how it should be. How serving really works, including changing the world, is a spiritual mystery that cannot be understood by the rational mind. True Bodhichitta does exist: in the mind of the Guru, who actually has compassion instead of just concepts about "being compassionate". Imagining yourself as compassionate is like "being nice." Gradually we practice service and release the results. We meditate on the mind of the Gurun and try honestly to pursue our Sadhana.
Everyone has a limited time here. So don't die only having turned the Path into endless mental therapy. |
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